What it's coming to.
Posted on Saturday July 24, 2010
1 comments
It's just not working. I am saying that what I do for work is so unfulfilling that I might just lose my mind. If I don't move and go to school soon for art and animation, I will be that 50 year old bartendress who has a smokers hack and a tainted view of the world and everyone involved. I will get numerous cats that stink up my house because I don'twant to just feel like I've pissed my life away, I need to literally smell it fuming from the litter boxes. I will hit on men that wear wrangler jeans and a free t-shirt that was given to them at a baseball game for being one of the first fifty people in the gate and have greasy fingertips and consumes enough Bud Light that it seems like a natural cologne on their skin mixed with sweat and tabacco. I will live in a trailer in bumfuck North Cacalack alone and start talking like people who grew up near the paper mill referring to my grandparents as "Mee-maw" and "Pee-Paw" and will be confused when people say "that part of town smells" because I will be one of those people who never leaves so I've grown accustomed so much that fresh air will smell weird. I will collect porcelain dolls that will make me feel comforted when I see them because I will feel unjudged by my emotionless friends.I will eat SPAM...SPAM people. It will not be a pretty sight. Ok, I just snapped out of it becauseI realized that if I do all of that I will have to perm my hair. Ewwwww, I went to a really gross place. The good thing is, NONE of that will ever happen because A. It just won't. And B. I have a plan. I have five months before I get off this treadmill of mine and actually start walking. I need more I need more, or I will buckle. Can I survive five months? I've become so desperate that I'm considering busking downtown as a "piggy bank" with a ukulele that I don't know how to play. SHIT why didn't I ever learn to play an instrument? I was too busy doodling cartoons I guess. I'm saving as much as I can so all of you keep your fingers crossed and your toes too. And hope I don't meet anyone or have an opportunity that makes me procrastinate leaving because what I've learned so far is I put it off until "whatever kept me" doesn't work out then suddenly another year has gone by and I darken a little more inside. Everyday I wake up I start with a fresh mind and keep working until the day is over meanwhile trying to have a good time. I guess that's all I can do for now.
1 Comments
your bff - July 28th, 2010 at 9:15 PM
"I will collect porcelain dolls that will make me feel comforted when I see them because I will feel unjudged by my emotionless friends."
This explains so much about...gasp! Ha. If only I had a picture to share with you of my room at age 9. Porcelain dolls and ceramic masks covered the predominantly pink flowered wallpaper that my parents decided would be appropriate for their baby girl. I've just discovered two things: 1. Why I feel tortured. 2. Why I avoid, you know....um, people. Well except you of course, doll face. Oh, and, 3. Plan B is a really good idea when you're unsure; it's worth the expense.
This explains so much about...gasp! Ha. If only I had a picture to share with you of my room at age 9. Porcelain dolls and ceramic masks covered the predominantly pink flowered wallpaper that my parents decided would be appropriate for their baby girl. I've just discovered two things: 1. Why I feel tortured. 2. Why I avoid, you know....um, people. Well except you of course, doll face. Oh, and, 3. Plan B is a really good idea when you're unsure; it's worth the expense.
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