Posted on Saturday July 24, 2010
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It's just not working. I am saying that what I do for work is so unfulfilling that I might just lose my mind. If I don't move and go to school soon for art and animation, I will be that 50 year old bartendress who has a smokers hack and a tainted view of the world and everyone involved. I will get numerous cats that stink up my house because I don'twant to just feel like I've pissed my life away, I need to literally smell it fuming from the litter boxes. I will hit on men that wear wrangler jeans and a free t-shirt that was given to them at a baseball game for being one of the first fifty people in the gate and have greasy fingertips and consumes enough Bud Light that it seems like a natural cologne on their skin mixed with sweat and tabacco. I will live in a trailer in bumfuck North Cacalack alone and start talking like people who grew up near the paper mill referring to my grandparents as "Mee-maw" and "Pee-Paw" and will be confused when people say "that part of town smells" because I will be one of those people who never leaves so I've grown accustomed so much that fresh air will smell weird. I will collect porcelain dolls that will make me feel comforted when I see them because I will feel unjudged by my emotionless friends.I will eat SPAM...SPAM people. It will not be a pretty sight. Ok, I just snapped out of it becauseI realized that if I do all of that I will have to perm my hair. Ewwwww, I went to a really gross place. The good thing is, NONE of that will ever happen because A. It just won't. And B. I have a plan. I have five months before I get off this treadmill of mine and actually start walking. I need more I need more, or I will buckle. Can I survive five months? I've become so desperate that I'm considering busking downtown as a "piggy bank" with a ukulele that I don't know how to play. SHIT why didn't I ever learn to play an instrument? I was too busy doodling cartoons I guess. I'm saving as much as I can so all of you keep your fingers crossed and your toes too. And hope I don't meet anyone or have an opportunity that makes me procrastinate leaving because what I've learned so far is I put it off until "whatever kept me" doesn't work out then suddenly another year has gone by and I darken a little more inside. Everyday I wake up I start with a fresh mind and keep working until the day is over meanwhile trying to have a good time. I guess that's all I can do for now.
Posted on Wednesday July 21, 2010
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There was not a specific moment that I realized I can no longer be a "closet dork" because I've always felt a little bit different my entire life. I was always ridden with panic attacks, insecurities, and insisting that I have more to offer then my genetics of which my parents have "blessed me with a nice buttock" . I've always been intrigued by computers, cartoons, art, humor, and video games and that's mostly the inside Seanna not the outside. So don't let the modeling fool you and also don't let yourself hate me because I'm not claiming to be one of those "pretty girls" who had it tough. This is not a JENNY FROM THE BLOCK story.
On topic: I used to wear fake glasses because I always wanted them for reasons, I cannot explain. Then one day, well actually it was gradual, but one day it was apparent when I was looking for a street sign of where I should be turning and I passed it. That was the first moment I realized "shit, I can't see"! Then I noticed blurry people from afar. Then the signs of businesses across the street from work were blurry even though I know what they should say. I couldn't make it out if I was a tourist. But, I figured that was called "distance". For poops and sharts I went to a local eye doctor with my extra tax money and after getting alien probed in the eye by an old man with a whistling nostril I found myself getting a prescription for being near sighted. Well shit-damn mother of Pinochio, my dream has come true! REAL glasses?! Wow. I treated them like gold and wouldn't wear them out on a night of drinking (predicting that I would wrestle/exchange/or step on them) and before I knew it I bought a puppy that found them as a new chew toy. Luckily she didn't damage them entirely but chewed the stems that go around my ears that itch now when I wear them, however...I got rid of the puppy.
I guess what I was indirectly trying to say is that...glasses make you cool...not J-Lo, not alien probes, or puppies...
...this does.
Posted on Tuesday July 20, 2010
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I've posted three blogs today because I have A LOT of catching up to do. So as promised I am updating via blog and here is #4 for the day (and my last, hopefully). Boy, all that coffee I made today has me crazy productive! I prefer it Frenched Pressed so it tends to be super strong.
Back on topic: Got my knuckles done a couple months back (Thanks Wiley!) and am just now getting around to mentioning it. I have long, boney, gangly fingers but who cares. It says Doll Face in reference to my doll-making and pin-up. Killing the birds, throwin the stones.
Adam Marton from Empire Tattoo is going to be doing a "1930's Flapper-girl, zombified doll head" on my foot next month hopefully. My feet are boney and gangly too but...like I said...who cares. Stoked!
Ok done.
Posted on Tuesday July 20, 2010
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My dog Booger, a shi-tzu, is my best bud and is as excited about moving to the West Coast as I am. He is the most low maintenance, chill dog I've ever had and I'm comforted knowing I will at least have him to walk with and explore a new city with when I move considering I won't have any human friends to start out. There is only one thing that cocerns me...he has a major air licking problem. He just got a new haircut and I was trying to take a still picture of him but he wouldn't stop licking the air. Finally, in the last shot, he sat still because he heard some thunder (one of his greatest fears) which got his attention. At first I was majorly concerned with his licking problem because it was obsessive and quite obnoxious. Now, with the video I included below...I realize it's a puppy pandemic. Phew, that's a relief!
Booger, sit still...
Booger, SIT STILL.
BOOGER!!!
FINALLY!
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