I Don't Want Kids & What's In My Dog's Diaper Bag?
Dog moms are moms too, ammiright ladies??
Never did, never planned on it. My dogs have been the closest thing to it. I know the human-makers get pissed when you compare having a puppy to a baby and this topic can trigger debates so I will save you some time. I plan to be brutally honest so this might not be the post for you if you feel strongly about it, perhaps it will take an open mind. I also would like to mention a trigger warning if you or someone you love has had complications with conceiving.
When I worked in cosmetics, gals I used to work with at the makeup counter would see a baby stroll by and stop the mother to gawk at them and makes those odd oogly googly noises. This was my queue to walk away and busy myself elsewhere so I didn't have to fake like I cared with an awkward smile. I've actually faked it in the past with "aww how old?" type questions but inside I'd have a weird knot in the pit of my stomach. A knot of disingenuous shame. I've stopped doing that now...it's not my job to pretend I love babies so other people are comfortable meanwhile I'm the one uncomfortable pretending to know anything about morning sickness or daycare woes. Plus I hate to be fake, who has time for that?
I've always thought the reason I didn't have baby feels was that I couldn't have them so I never got the urge. There's history in my family of women who can't have kids and I've always related myself to that. My brother and I are the only two left on my mother's side to carry on the family line and neither of us procreated. The tree branch just stops.
One time, when I was getting my nails done on a particularly bloated hormonal day, a woman that worked at the salon asked, "when I was due". I felt like I got hit by a truck. Not because she was wrong and I was embarassed (which I was) but because of the audacity she would assume it. Panicked and angry, I sat there quietly fuming. She doesn't know me or my situation, how dare she? Meanwhile, the guy doing my nails shot her a "shut up" look. What if I had just (God forbid) lost a child and was still showing? What if I had been trying to get pregnant and it was complicated? I was mad at her for all the women out there that might be in that position meanwhile I am in a position to not have to go through that experience because I didn't have the natural desire for it. I could only imagine the heartbreak to want one so bad and not be able to, and this lady had the nerve to point at my burrito belly and open her insensitive mouth.
I really don't have a reason as to why I don't want them. Friends in grade school would daydream about a future as a mom with a family, I'd dream of moving to London. I also somehow always attracted boyfriends who didn't want any either. Most of my ex's still don't have children to this day...odd...how did I know when I met them? Like I can sense it. My husband is firmly on the same page.
I will say I am envious of a few things human parents get to do-
People with kids get to use them as excuses as to why they can't do certain things. "I can't be away too late because of the babysitter" or "Oh shoot I would but we have soccer practice". I personally don't like to be away from home for too long because of the dogs, but that's not always accepted as enough reason to stay home.
Gender reveals and baby showers are a nightmare for me, but a party full of playful dogs is my dream. Unfortunately, these types of events aren't taken seriously when it's to reveal the puppy you just adopted. Grandma won't fly in to visit for that one.
Baby clothes are cute. Dog clothes are judged. Do I care? No. But because of the stigma behind dog clothes being, only for "ditzy blondes," it makes them hard to find in most stores. I think if we all accepted that tiny little rain jackets for dogs are CUTE AS F*CK maybe there'd be more than two to choose from at the store. I vote for an H&M sized store just for dog accessories and clothes.
Here's where the diaper bag comes in.
For many years I've been toting around a grocery tote full of puppy paraphernalia when we traveled. It wasn't until a friend had me watch her pup and she brought over a diaper bag packed perfectly with all his things from a towel rolled up in the side, portioned out food bags, a care note, even his squeaky toy tucked into a pocket in the front. I was flabbergasted. You mean, I...little ole childless Seanna, can have a diaper bag too?
Collapsable Dog Food Bowls and Water Dishes
Toys (a ball for Vinny and a squeaker for Tina)
Chi Doggie Deodorizing Spray (smells SO good)
See! I neeeeeeeded it. That's so much stuff to pack. No more ugly grocery bag. No more wondering which one has all the dog stuff and which one has the actual groceries in it.
I have a designated, adorable, organized, Marc Jacobs doggie travel bag.
Organization is my lifeblood. To be able to travel with the pups in their safety seats in the back, their perfectly sorted bag tucked between them as we travel through the Pacific Northwest on our next adventure, fills my heart with so much joy I can barely stand it.
If you made it this far in this post, you're obviously my people so you get it. Feel free to shoot me a DM on Instagram and say hello.
I have to face the fact that I will deal with questions and expectations my entire life. Do you have kids? Why not? I think these questions need to be taken with a little more consideration of each individuals' circumstance. Again, I'm sympathetic to those who are trying to no avail, to make a family for themselves. I'm grateful I won't ever have to go through that, it doesn't sound easy and my heart goes out to them.
I don't owe anyone a reason, but I also don't have to silence my opinion on the matter either. All I've ever heard since I was a young girl is what society expects of me. To grow up and have a family. Well, I do...I have a husband and a beautiful home with the pitter-patter of little shih tzus running around in it.
I'm so good.